As an active member of the local business community, I frequently meet new faces, each encounter a collection of first impressions and shared stories. It’s in these networking veins that a single question often paralyzes me.

“Do you have children?”

A question so straightforward it slips off the tongue without the asker knowing the emotional ripple it creates. My heart whispers the truth; I am a parent to three beautiful souls. But in those brief moments, I find myself tangled in an unexpected dilemma of what to say.

To speak of three means I must gather the strength to share the poignant reality that one of them has passed. To say two feels like an omission, as if I’m leaving a piece of my heart unacknowledged.

Each carries its own anxiety. Saying three could lead to a conversation laden with empathetic glances and somber tones, something neither of us saw coming or prepared for amidst the clinking of glasses and exchange of business cards. Saying two courts guilt, a soft betrayal to the child whose absence is felt in the very marrow of my being.

I wish I could tell you there’s an easy answer, some flawless script to follow. But life is achingly more complicated than the lines of a rehearsed dialogue. What I choose, each time the question arises, isn’t always the same. Sometimes, I brace my heart and speak the full truth, other times, I pause to protect the fragile peace of the moment.

In choosing how to respond, I’ve realized it’s less about finding the right answer and more about honoring the truth that feels right in that instant. 

And perhaps, it’s a good reminder that behind the simplest questions always lie intricate narratives and truths unspoken.